Murphy's Laws of Combat


1. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.

2. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
Field Marshall Helmet Carl Bernard von Moltke

3. Friendly fire ain't.

4. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

5. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.

6. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else
to shoot at.

7. The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your
artillery will shoot short.

8. Incoming fire has the right of way.

9. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

10. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

11. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

12. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.

13. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

14. There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you,
and miss.

15. Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat
zone, it draws sergeants.

16. If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

17. Never worry about the bullet with your name on it. Instead, worry about
shrapnel addressed to 'occupant'.

18a. All battles are fought at the junction of two or more map sheets. . .
all of which were printed at different scales.

18b. All battles are fought uphill

18c. All battles are fought in the rain.

19. Logistics is the ball and chain of armoured warfare.
Heinz Guderian

20. The army with the smartest dress uniform will lose.

21. What gets you promoted from one rank gets you killed in the next rank.

22. A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.
George Patton

23. If orders can be misunderstood, they have been.

24. Tracer ammo works both ways.

25. If the enemy is in range, so are you.

26. War is like love. To triumph, you must make contact.
Attributed to Napoleon

27. Boldness becomes rarer, the higher the rank.
Karl von Clausewitz

28. Never reinforce failure. Failure reinforces itself.

29. Only 5% of an intelligence report is accurate. The trick of a good
commander is to isolate the 5%.
Douglas MacArthur

30. Tactics are for amateurs; professionals study logistics.

31. When a front line soldier overhears two General Staff officers conferring,
he's fallen back too far.

32. It isn't necessary to be an idiot to be a senior officer, but it sure helps.

33. No captain can do very wrong who places his ship alongside that of the enemy.
Vice Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson

34. Only numbers can annihilate.
Vice Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson

35a. Always know when it's time to get out of Dodge.

35b. Always know how to get out of Dodge.

36. Your equipment was made by he lowest bidder.

37. Officers, not God, make priorities. There's a difference.

38. Always honor a threat.

39. The weight of all of your equipment is proportional to the cube of the
time you have been carrying it.

40. Hell hath no fury like a non-combatant.
Charles Edward Montague

41. Fighter pilots make movies; Infantry troops make history.

42. There are two kinds of naval vessels: submarines and targets.

43. A lost battle is a battle one thinks one has lost.
Ferdinand Foch (Principles de Guerre)

44. Surprise is an event that takes place in the mind of a commander.
Jerry Pournelle

45. All warfare is based on deception.
Sun Tzu (The Art of War)

46. A little caution outflanks a large cavalry.
Otto von Bismark

47. No combat ready squad ever passed inspection. No inspection ready squad
ever passed combat.

48. Five second grenade fuses burn down in three seconds.

49. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.

50. Radios function perfectly until you need fire support.

51. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more
than your fair share to take.

52. Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.

53. Parade ground inspections are to combat readiness as mess hall food
is to cuisine.

54. When in doubt, empty the magazine.

55. Snow is not neutral.
Frunze Military Academy Maxim

56. The tank is a monument to the inaccuracy of indirect fire.

57. Diplomacy has rarely been able to gain at the conference table what cannot
be gained or held on the battlefield.
General Walter Bedell Smith

58. War is the unfolding of miscalculations.
Barbara Tuchman

59. Perfect is the enemy of good enough.
Soviet Admiral Gorshkov

60. He who wants do defend everything defends nothing.
Frederick the Great

61. If they're shooting at you, it's a high intensity conflict.

62. Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl.

63. Never draw fire. It irritates everyone around you.

64. A sucking chest wound is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

65a. If at first you don't succeed, call for artillery.

65b. When that doesn't work, call for an air strike.

66a. Mine fields are not neutral. They attack both armies.

66b. The Claymore you set out is now pointing at you.

67a. The effective radius of a hand grenade is always greater than the distance
you can jump.

67b. The effective radius of a hand grenade is greater then the average grunt
can throw it.

68a. Your mortar barrage will put exactly one round on the intended target.
That round will be a dud.

68b. The mortar team will always have the correct number of safety pins to prove
they armed all the rounds.

68c. To ensure this, the mortar team carries extra pins.

69. There is no such thing as a convenient foxhole.

70. Odd objects attract fire. You are odd.

71. More aircraft are incapacited by a shortage of spare parts than by enemy
action.

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